uraniumnumnum | good idea genius!!!

[ He'd spend the first week combing the town as a whole - giving every surface a good look-over, trying to keep his eyes peeled for anything he could use. The "excitement" of that little trial interrupted him, but only in the barest sense. He doesn't mourn the death of either girl, and he doesn't fear any killers that might be sleeping in the rooms near his. He's not afraid of death - not in this world, without Rion. Perhaps he should be.

The only thing he fears is continuing to exist like this, in this shell, with no purpose, no power, no control. It's like being back in his original cell. So he moves on with his search. The preliminary scan turned up nothing, but now he'll start peeking into the individual nooks and crannies. That Sheriff is most likely another AI, he's deduced - a rudimentary one, but an AI nonetheless. And if that's true, then there has to be some semblance of real technology somewhere in the town. Something he can jack into, or plug into, a terminal - anything. And so, he decides to start where he deems something like that most likely to appear: the Sheriff's room, itself.

At least he tries to go when he believes the Sheriff won't be around. The man seems to be busy looking after the livestock at the moment, and Ash takes the opportunity to try and get into his room. But he'll try to be civilized at first! He'll simply try the doorknob and see if it's locked. ]

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[ Ash, you donut!!

Well, it's true enough that the Sheriff is up near the homestead taking care of business there. The station seems perfectly empty and when Ash tries the doorknob, it is very obviously locked.

Aw shucks. Best turn around and go home now, huh? ]

[ WELL it was worth a shot, even if he knew that probably wouldn't work. He sighs. Next step: brute force it. He'll give the door a good (albeit sort of clumsy) shoulder ram, hoping his heavy robot ass might be enough to bust it down. ]

[ Well, thankfully because it's a robot body and not a human body (#robotsuperiority), the door does have a bit of a dent in it when he comes away. It's not down but it's not unblemished, so... hope?

Maybe keep going. ]

[ hundreds of years of computer development and thousands of pounds of raw uranium powering 20 tons of artificial intelligence have all been leading up to this...... brute forcing a door with his dumb stupid body. he will indeed keep at it, because he's nothing if not determined?? ]

[ Why are you this way, Ash!!!

But look, eventually he's going to break it down. It finally pops off the hinges and Ash will fall into the room, which is great because --

Because it's a normal looking apartment. Cozy, even. Lots of creams and browns and soft blues. There's a couch and some rugs. Nice armchair in front of a fireplace that has a little table with some knife and pieces of wood on it.

There's a breakfast nook.

A quaint looking kitchen.

Off to the side is a door that probably leads to a bedroom.

But! BUT! Hey, right on top of the table in the little breakfast nook is a laptop! And an empty mug and dirty plate. Aw. ]

[ YES. BRUTE FORCE WINS AGAIN. It feels like a bit of a dirty victory, seeing as the methods he used to achieve it were so base - but he doesn't mind resorting to savage methods to get his way. He's done worse before.

He's careful as he steps in, eyes scanning the room carefully for any security cameras or tripwires that might be concealed in the place before he moves in more than a foot or so. That laptop is absolutely the goal... but he knows better than to barge in like this and expect no security. ]

[ Man, it's like... sometimes... you need an actual body, instead of sticking with code, huh?

But as far as anyone can tell, the apartment is pretty empty. Harmless, really. Just a nice little place for a Sheriff to live.

Oh, but there is a noise suddenly, from the kitchen. ]

[ never...

the sound in the kitchen is a bad sign, but it's less important than getting information. Ash quietly (or, well, as quietly as a heavy robot can manage) steps over to the laptop, tilting the screen up to read what's on it. ]

[ You probably should have paid attention to the noise, Ash.

Because as he moves to open the laptop, something lands on top of it, firmly closing it with its weight. A cat sits there, staring up at Ash with wide, watchful eyes. There is a collar around his neck with a simple tag that reads "Creamsicle."

After a moment, Creamsicle meows. ]

[ He almost takes a swing at the cat from the corner of his eye before he realizes what it is... at which point, he settles for being annoyed. The vitriolic attitude he holds towards humans doesn't extend to animals. ]

Not now.

[ he reaches out to pick the cat up and try putting it on the chair. LET HIM LIVE. ]

[ NO.....

Creamsicle seems particularly offended by this, meowing louder and hopping back up on the laptop. He even curls up to settle completely, ignoring Ash in the process.

How dare you tell him where to go. ]

[ ok cat. He was trying to be nice, but he's not that nice. At all. Wrinkling his nose, he swings his arm hard at the cat, aiming to either knock it off the table and out of the way and unconscious... or dead. He doesn't care either way. ]

[ Creamsicle lands in a heap on the floor.

There's no indication if he's breathing or not.

But at the very least, the computer is loaded up! There's a home screen. It has a password. ]

[ ash you're going straight to hell after this and i'm sending you there myself prepare your ass

he callously ignores the potentially-dead cat, opening up the laptop once again and looking at the password screen. After a moment, he seats himself, then reaches up once more to retrieve the plug hidden under his tongue. Obviously, he has no idea what the password is... but that doesn't matter. He'd intended to try and hack in from the start. ]

[ Good job, Ash.

Well, we talked about this so essentially: the dell laptop is running fucking Windows 10. It doesn't take much to get in especially with Ash's tonguefuck. The desktop opens up to certain picture here like --

This.

Except without the date and time there. Sib, let me have this joke. Let me have this joke. Look what I did to my desktop for this joke. ]

[ listen it's more like tongue making love.......??

also this is the worst thing Ash has ever seen??? he instantly loses more respect for the sheriff upon seeing this monstrosity. His model must have a really underdeveloped design sense...

But that's not important. What's important is that he's gotten in. The technology is too useless to be worth putting in any of his own data - he doubts it has the storage for it, even - but he can take some from the laptop, instead. Ash goes to access the roles file, ignoring the programs. ]

[ Hey, rude. The Sheriff just likes to read books before going to bed. It's quaint!!

But of course, Ash will access this file and all it's mysterious contents. It's a very seriously written set of rules. ]

good idea genius!!!

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how dare you make me write this tag PULLS FACE

HAHAHAHA

I LOVE CATS NOW I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!! AT LEAST AUGER KILLED THE DOG IN SHIPTRAP OFFSCREEN!!

HAHAHAHA

i can't believe you made that

I DID MAKE IT